This guitar belongs to the unemployed guy who dropped me off at work in MY car, and after I got out and walked into work, honked the horn until I came back out and said, “Uhh, hello? I’m gonna need like ten bucks for gas, babe?”


This vocal monitor belongs to the guy who went on tour to Ireland for a month and came back with a permanent fake Irish accent, started referring to fries as “chips”, and came back wearing women’s leggings as pants because they were “European”, even though I saw the tags were from Wal-Mart.


This mic stand belongs to the guy who agreed that we would take turns paying for groceries, and when it was his week to pay he would put back anything I put in the cart and say, “We don’t need that!”, but when it was my turn to pay he would clear off the shelves into the cart like a contestant on Supermarket Sweep.