This kick drum belongs to the guy who declared Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” would be our song, even though I told him how much I fucking hated that song.


This guitar belongs to the guy who ordered three drinks, an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert and when the check came and I realized I’d forgotten my debit card at home he said, “What the fuck? I would have never ordered all that shit if I knew I was paying!”


This high-hat cymbal set belongs to the guy who told me I “could stand to lose a few” when I weighed 115 pounds.