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This snare drum belongs to the guy who asked me to drive to the bank with $300 to cover all the bad checks he was going to bounce that week, and when we left the bank he said he couldn’t wait to get his paycheck on Friday so he could buy the new Playstation.  I said, “How about you pay me back that $300 first?” and he said, “You don’t get to tell me what to do with my money, okay MOM?” and then pouted for the rest of the evening.

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“This Indenture of Mortgage is for some reason between me and an unemployed drummer’s mother’s mortgage company because I wasn’t able to make his car payment for him that month, so his mother made it instead, so he said the “least” I could do was make her house payment for her since now she was going to be short.”

“P.S. It is important to note, I didn’t live there, dick. 🍆”

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This guitar belongs to the guy who borrowed my brand new car one time, lost my gas cap, and said, “God – I’m sure you can get a new one cheap!” and then never mentioned it again. It was a newly released model, so I could only get a replacement from the dealer.