This snare drum belongs to the guy who asked me to drive to the bank with $300 to cover all the bad checks he was going to bounce that week, and when we left the bank he said he couldn’t wait to get his paycheck on Friday so he could buy the new Playstation.  I said, “How about you pay me back that $300 first?” and he said, “You don’t get to tell me what to do with my money, okay MOM?” and then pouted for the rest of the evening.

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I'm Maggie. I'm often comically pissed off about things, I am petty and immature, and I have many tribal tattoos from the 90s for which I refuse to be apologetic. I used to be the singer of a band you never heard of in South Florida and have had the misfortune of dating many musicians. I have a book coming out later this winter, because who doesn't.

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