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This is the first drawing of a 5-part series called “The Women He Told Me He Wanted to Bang”. 🛬🍆 This series goes out to the musician who felt the need to tell me about *every* woman he’d seen on MTV at home that day while I was at work, and whether he thought they were worthy of the attention of his stoned, broke, dirty dick. 🍆🚿💤 Today’s entry is Fiona Apple, who I’m certain would have had even less interest in paying his Guitar Center bill than I did. 🍏🙄🍏.

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This is the guitar of the guy who didn’t pick up a single dinner check for a year while he sat unemployed on my couch playing video games, and after he got a job and picked up *one* check, the next time we went out he said, “I got the last one, so it’s your turn to pick up the check.”