This drum belongs to the guy who claimed he had to be shirtless when he recorded that Bee Gees cover song or else he wouldn’t have felt “spiritually connected” to the song.


This guitar pedal board belongs to the guy who peed in an empty Big Gulp cup in the passenger seat of my brand new car while I was driving down I-95, and when he went to throw it out the window, he missed and it bounced back inside the car and splashed out all over me and the inside of my car.


This guitar belongs to the guy who claimed he was turned into a vampire after he signed what he thought was a joke contract with a lady who actually turned out to be a demon!!!  She tricked him!!!  Now he was really a vampire because the contract was REAL!!!  (Also, “joke contracts” are not a thing.  Sure, neither are vampires and demons, but I’m willing to let those go because the concept of a “joke contract” is by far the dumbest and least believable part of his story.)