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These egg-shakers are the ego of the dirty, jobless, homeless frontman who told me that I was lucky that he had taken pity on someone like me by asking me out. A month later, I mentioned a couple of job ads I’d seen that sounded perfect for him, and he ugly-cried and told me to stop being mean to him.

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This guitar belongs to the guy who claimed he was turned into a vampire after he signed what he thought was a joke contract with a lady who actually turned out to be a demon!!!  She tricked him!!!  Now he was really a vampire because the contract was REAL!!!  (Also, “joke contracts” are not a thing.  Sure, neither are vampires and demons, but I’m willing to let those go because the concept of a “joke contract” is by far the dumbest and least believable part of his story.)

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This keyboard belongs to the guy who would walk into a party, point at someone he’d never met and say, “Five biggest musical influences.  GO.”  Then he would argue with them that they were wrong about every artist or band they named – unless they happened to include Dream Theater on their list. Because *that* happens.